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Dearest Christian



by DearestChristian - For christian singles moving on to marriage    

Introduction :- Solid Ground To Build On Part 2

III Solid Foundations :- Luke 6:46-49

A. "He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on rock" :- v.48.
B. The irony of the story is that the foolish builder probably thought the other was the stupid one! After all,
digging down deep took much more time, effort and resources.
C. Both houses looked identical, so what was the point of all that activity? The answer became clear the moment the torrent struck!
D. It is necessary to remove the soft sand of wrong expectations and different ideas and make sure that both partners are building on the same solid ground.

1. Your life must be built on Jesus Christ Himself. Key Verse Luke 6:47

a. Scriptural wisdom maintains that a successful marriage is more about two people adjusting to a third person - Jesus Christ.

b. When you are both in line with Him you will find that you are on solid ground. If one or both of you are out of line with Him then the foundation will start to shake.

2. Your life is also to be built on Truth.

a. God's Word is to be the solid ground you stand upon. As the Holy Spirit helps you to understand God's will and ways through the Bible, your behavior, values, attitudes, goals, decisions and lifestyle will be affected.

b. When faith in Christ and obedience to His Word is the foundation of your lives you will be able to build a "house' which will stand. He will makes a fundamental differences to your relationship with one another in the following ways.

i. You look at yourself differently.

The way you see yourself is of crucial importance to your marriage. When your life is built on Jesus Christ there is no reason for you to feel you are worthless.

ii. You look at your partner differently.

- You are able to look at your partner as someone to be loved and cared for, rather than someone to love and care for you. The driving force in your life is no longer to seek love but to give it.

- As you both develop your own deep relationship with Christ, you not only bring the benefits of this to your spouse, you receive benefits too.

- Jesus will makes you the person your partner needs, and makes your partner the person you need. Intimate fellowship with Christ becomes the key to deeper fellowship with one another, which every marriage needs.

(Article continues below...)


IV. The Purpose of Courtship

A. Definition :- Courtship is an act of seeking to gain love or affection with a view toward marriage.

B. Courtship is the prelude to a possible engagement. It's purpose is to provide a couple time to discover, assess, and evaluate their compatibility as potential lifelong marriage partners.

C. Courtship isn't a time of experimentation but of exploration.

D. The activity of courtship is not a guarantee of engagement or marriage but a controlled step toward it, it must have some objective guides that will allow either party to stop the process, or at least slow it down.

V. The Three Phases of Courtship.

Courtship unfolds in three phases - exploration, confirmation and pledging.

A. Phase One :- Exploration

1. Courtship is not for strangers. To enter the exploration phase of courtship is to acknowledge that marriage is a possibility but not a promise.

2. The basic purpose of this phase is to allow the couple to explore and discover their own emotions beyond that of simple friendship.

3. Through their courtship experience, the couple learns to arrange their lives for the benefit of each other.

4. Common likes and dislikes are discovered, reinforced, and clarified. They leave this phase seeking concrete meaning and understanding for their new feelings.

B. Phase Two :- Confirmation

1. This phase brings the couple face to face with the need to reveal themselves and to be revealed.

2. During the process of confirmation, the couple learns lessons of give and take, overcoming frustrations, and handling jealousies, insecurities, misunderstanding, tenderness, and the exaltation of the other. All this aids the process of confirming their selection.

3. Through it all, sufficient confidence is achieved in the expression of each other's love to declare the relationship publicly.

4. It is in the latter stage that the foundation of marriage is actually realized.

C. Phase three :- Pledging

1. During this phase of emotional maturation the image of marriage is exchanged for the reality. There is solidarity of thinking and feelings toward each other.

2. Not only is there a solidarity but there is a natural interdependence between the two, wherein they continually complement one another through their efforts.

3. They achieved a marriage of their souls that only awaits the calendar date.

VI. Are you ready for marriage?

A. It's understandable that some couples spend more time preparing for their weddings than they do for their marriage.
B. Being prepared for your wedding does not equal being prepared for your marriage
C. Wedding plans seem far more tangible than marriage.


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