CHRISTIAN FOUNDATIONS FOR MARRIAGE
by DearestChristian - For christian singles moving on to marriage
Introduction :- Solid Ground To Build On Part 4
Practical Guidelines for Christian Courtship
1. What is Christian courtship?
Definition. A mutual commitment made between a man and a woman, only as a result of knowing God's will for each other, for the purpose of:
* Getting to know each other & their background better.
* Preparing themselves for marriage within the next 2 to 3 years, (or even 1 to 3 years) with the clear understanding that if the courtship does not know out, both persons are to be mature enough to part as friends, without resentment and with all due respect for each other's feelings
2. Who is ready to enter into Christian courtship?
a. Mature (mentally and emotionally) single adults; not divorced before.
b. Who recognize their gift for marriage (I Cor 7:7) [or don't have the gift of celibacy. You may choose to be single.
c. Who are sure that they're God's will for each other as marriage partners.
d. Who are serious with their commitment only to each other, and no one else.
3. How should we conduct ourselves in Christian courtship?
1. Be free & teachable enough to seek for pastoral advice from godly married couple and the church leadership.
2. Freely interact with godly married couples and observe their Christian marriage lifestyle and family life. Ask questions to prepare yourselves.
3. Learn more about each other in communication, working life, ministry and family background.
4. Learn to understand and accept each other's personal differences.
5. Serve God together in preparation to serve God as a married couple; learn tocomplement each other as a ministry team and not to compete.
6. Equip yourselves with adequate understanding of Christian courtship & marriage through reading wholesome Christian literature and attending regional SCG classes.
7. Be willing to relate and fellowship with others in group setting; bearing in mind that you are to set a positive example as a Christian courting couple, for other singles as a model.
8. Exercise self-control in our passion towards each other; be determined to keep ourselves pure for marriage. ( Heb 13:4 )
1. Do not be exclusive in relating only with each other all the time. (Heb 10:24-26, Eph 5:3, Gal 5:16, 19-21 )
2. Do not plan to isolate yourselves (during your date) in dark or solitary places where you can be easily tempted.
3. Do not give in to your passions and abuse your bodies for sexual sins; e.g. petting, pre-marital sex. (Gal 5:6, 19-21)
4. Do not deceive yourselves that "it's alright to fondle each other passionately (i.e. petting), if you love each other and are already committed to be married." I Cor 7:9. Pro 6:27-28
5. Do not watch movies of R-rated nature.
6. Dressing - low cut, mini skirts
7. Holidays - either in a group or just the two of you.
8. Visiting home - keep away from your rooms and especially when there is no one at home.
9. Do not plan to
have a long courtship (more than 2-3 years) and be influenced by the worldly
system in striving to "save-up" for a lavish wedding celebration
and when furnished house, if you cannot afford it. (I Tim 6:6-10)
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