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Christian Jokes Part III
Wife: If you had it to do over again, would you marry me, dear?
Husband: Of course, if I had to do it over again.
A couple's happy married life almost went on the rocks because of the
presence in the household of old Aunt Emma. For seven long years she
lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding. Finally the old girl
died.
On the way back from the
cemetery, the husband confessed to his wife,
"Darling, if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I would have
put up
with having your Aunt Emma in the house all those years."
His wife looked at him,
aghast. "My Aunt Emma!" she cried. "I
thought she was your Aunt Emma!"
One night a wife found her
husband standing over their baby's crib.
Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant,
she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight,amazement,
enchantment, skepticism.
Touched by this unusual display
and the deep emotions it aroused, with
eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband.
"A penny for your thoughts," she said.
"It's amazing!"
he replied. "I just can't see how anybody can make a
crib like that for only $46.50."
Tom: If a wedding means showers for the bride, what does it mean for
the groom?
Jerry: Curtains.
A knock came at the door. "Who is it?" asked the wife.
A gruff voice replied, "It's Jack the Ripper."
She turned to her husband and said, "It's for you, dear."
My wife puts so much grease on her face at night you'd think she was
going to swim the English Channel.
A wife sought the advice of a fortune-teller, who said, "Prepare your-
self for widowhood. Your husband is about to die a violent death."
The wife sighed deeply and asked, "Will I be acquitted?"
A woman offered a brand-new Porsche for sale for a price of $ 10. A man
answered the ad, but he was slightly disbelieving.
"What's the gimmick?" he inquired.
"No gimmick,"
the woman answered. "My husband died, and in his
will he asked that the car be sold and the money given to his secretary."
"I understand the government is going to handle marriages."
"Yes."
"I wonder what department they'll be in?"
"I think it will be the War Department."
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